Good Tears

The past 2 or more years have a been a rough time for me. Lots of loss and difficulty. Areas in my life where I need healing: physically, mentally and spiritually. I know I'm not alone in this.

Last night I drove the nearly 4 hours to Grand Rapids from my home so as to attend the Calvin Symposium on Worship. It was a sad time. Lots of grieving and light tears as I reflected on pain, loss, etc. Actually good, but rough time, with Jesus.

So this morning I got to Calvin's chapel about an hour early (deliberately) to spend time reading, reflecting, praying, journaling. While I was there the chapel band was practicing for the upcoming worship service.

Was writing in my journal about my deep sense of aloneness and isolation, which I long for others to fill, while knowing they cannot. The struggle to still try to press into relationships while looking only unto Jesus. My inclination to withdraw. Asking Jesus, what is He doing? What need I be doing?

Then turned to the Divine Hours. The Request for Presence was Psalm 62:6: "For God alone my soul in silence waits; truly my hope is in him." (BCP)

Simple, common text but timing was such that this text pierced deeply and rightly into my heart. Almost immediately choked up.

Then the band broke into "Psalm 62 (My Soul Finds Rest)". Completely unexpected. Completely lost it (but thankfully didn't make a scene). Completely transcendent moment of God's love to me.

Good tears.

Comments

[Jennifer K]

Good stuff, Keith. That verse in the Divine Hours has caught me at the most opportune moments as well, when I have so needed to hear those words.

And just recently, the song My Soul Finds Rest did the same for me.

So, I resonated with you on both accounts. Thanks for sharing. :)

[Kansas Bob]

Can totally relate Keith. Losing it before God is so transcendent and sometimes healing.

[eileen unander]

Thank you for your transparency. You are a beloved brother Keith.

[Scott]

Thanks for sharing this, my brother. With you in prayer.