This morning I woke up before the dawn as I prepared to enter another long day in this, as ever, too busy season of Advent. Peering into the day ahead loomed a private prayer retreat for which I certainly lacked time. Ongoing frustrations at church, in ministry, in relationships, in my most private heart lurked, ready and eager to pounce, to draw me down yet again into a place of internal sourness.
Shave. Brush teeth. Shower. Quickly dress. Fly down the stairs to fling myself into my Mini and race into the day. But before I could reach the garage, I was brought up short and captured by the view out my back windows. Spreading glorious pre-light proclaiming the promise of dawn, of the coming of the sun's light. Not yet here but the hope was sure. My soul flooded with desire and yearning for the day to come. Inevitable illumination for the journey.
Oh, to capture the moment, to box it up, to have control. But alas my camera was miles away next to my desk in my office. This ephemeral beauty would only be a transient moment. A marking place in time of an unexpected inbreaking … one that could only be experienced in the now. So NOT alas, for fortunately my camera was not available to bind up and catalog this … this … ultimately, I have no words.
And so my life. Yes, while it's true that I have often basked under the light of the Son, my broken pilgrim journey also often finds me in the place of pre-light, the place where all lies in shadow, where there is no stark relief of the contrast of light and shadow to aid in discernment, in soul discovery and direction. But if I lift my eyes, there is the promise, the sure promise of the coming of the dawn. Hail the Sun of Righteousness!
So I will journey on. And this day, at least, I will gladly journey on. Even as we say, "It's Friday, but Sunday's coming," so we can say, so we must say, "It's Advent, but Christmas is coming!"
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