Broken Pilgrim

Psalm 119

For the past 22 days, my daily Scripture readings have included an 8 verse block of Psalm 119. When I first saw that these verses were going to be on the docket, I almost read the whole psalm in one sitting just to be done with it. After all isn't it just a long repetitive Hebrew poem that essentially says, "God's word is good."

Instead, I found this to be an incredibly rich journey over the past 3+ weeks, opening my soul to God and increasing my hunger for His word. The Psalm suitably ends with one of its more impassioned sections:

Let my cry come before you, O LORD;
  give me understanding according to your word!
Let me plea come before you;
  deliver me according to your word.
My lips will pour forth praise,
  for you teach me your statutes.
My tongue will sing of your word,
  for all your commandments are right.
Let your hand be ready to help me,
  for I have chosen your precepts.
I long for your salvation, O LORD,
  and your law is my delight.
Let my soul live and praise you,
  and let your rules help me.
I have gone astray like a lost sheep;
      seek your servant,
  for I do not forget your commandments.

Psalm 119:169-176 (ESV)

Cry … plea … pour forth … sing … have chosen … long. What a heart for God, for His word. For the psalmist God's word = life and no less.

Earlier in verse 37b, the psalmist says … give me life in your ways. But I love the context this phrase come in. Here's verse 36 and 37 complete:

Incline my heart to your testimonies,
  and not to selfish gain!
Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things
  and give me life in your ways.

Psalm 119:36-37 (ESV)

This hunger and heart and passion for God and His word ONLY CAN COME BECAUSE GOD GIVES IT! The psalmist knows this and asks for it big time.

And so do I. So do I.

And as God grants this desire, oh the benefits, oh the magnificence of God, oh the satisfied life in Him. Verses 44-45 say:

I will keep your law continually,
  forever and ever,
and I shall walk in a wide place,
  for I have sought your precepts.

Psalm 119:44-45 (ESV)

What is this wide place? Rahab is the Hebrew word here for wide and it can imply plenty of living space so as to be agreeable, pleasant and freeing. Often this word is used for psychological reality and not just the literal, concrete meaning.

The word of God. True freedom.

So why do we run away?

My Good Above All Other

On Monday morning, I found myself looking at Psalm 16:1-2. The NIV says, Keep me safe, O God, for in you I take refuge. I said to the LORD, "You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing." The ESV is similar and says, Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge. I say to the LORD, "You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you."

So what does this last phrase mean … practically? The NLT translates it as "All the good things I have are from you." I suspect that the NLT misses it. Neither the NIV nor the ESV make any direct mention of good things from God. They state that there is NO good thing apart from God. Hmmm.

That's why I think the BCP (Book of Common Prayer) translation might be more helpful.

Protect me, O God,
   for I take refuge in you;
I have said to the LORD,
  "You are my Lord, my good above all other."

Yeah. When I'm tempted to look at the material things (I love my iPod and my sci-fi books and my Mini Cooper and my … ) or activities (I love all those concerts and plays I get to go to) or relationships (I love my fantastic group of friends) or ministries (I love what I get to do as Director of Worship) in my life as my greatest good, Psalm 16:1-2 confronts and challenges me that I've moved into idolatry. God and God alone is my greatest good. My good above all other.

Kyrie eleison and Thanks be to God all rolled up together.

Kyrie eleison … because I am prone to forget … over and over.

Thanks be to God … because He reminds me … over and over.

And what does this mean, practically, about all those material things, activities, relationships, ministries? They are the good things that God has placed in my life … not to replace God but to encourage me to give praise and thanks to Him. So maybe the NLT is a little helpful after all.

Alright. One more time.

Thanks be to God!

… 'cause isn't this really a white bar post?

Am I a Fool?

Psalm 14:1 (BCP)

The fool has said in his heart, "There is no God."

Are there ways that we say this in our hearts without saying it aloud or admitting in our minds?

Where is my heart's true affection?

If it is not God, I say there is no God.

Where does my heart rest and dwell?

If it is not in the very presence of God, I say there is no God.

Where do the eyes of my heart linger?

If it is not on the truth, goodness and beauty of God, I say there is no God.

What captures my heart? Where are my heart strings tied? What is the very pulse of my heart?

If it is not Yahweh, I AM, the Lord God Almighty, I say there is no God.

But there is a God. For does not my heart burn within me?

Burn hard and fast.